I'm Back

I took a little bit of a break from my blog... the last few weeks were extremely exhausting and stressful. Just looking through Ellie's pictures was more difficult than I anticipated. Of course, I didn't need to share those pictures of Ellie's last day, her visitation and funeral, but I thought it was important. I think that too often people forget that babies are people too. Just because Ellie was only here for 250 days, doesn't mean she was any less loved or cared for, or any less important than a 98 year old. Our goal with Ellie's Light is to soften the blow to families who are experiencing this worst kind of pain, and if people don't understand what these families go through, than we won't ever accomplish our goal.
I never wanted Ellie to serve as a "lesson." I don't like to hear that people have learned so much from our situation. When we met Ellie for the first time on Jan 15th, 2010, I never thought her life would be what it is now. But it is... Ellie's pictures from the last day of her life won't ever be shown in their entirety. We probably won't ever show them again. They aren't our girl. Yes, ambulances, tubes, bags of blood, autopsy, casket and funeral are all words that are a part of Ellie's story now. But they are not Ellie's story. They are one week of Ellie's story...
Ellie's story is one of happiness, joy and love. Our girl was silly, smart and sweet. And that is why the other part of Ellie's Light is spreading joy. That part is for us. It is for us to do something that reminds of our girl. Being able to spend tons of money on Christmas presents for kids that may otherwise not get many, is an amazing feeling. We know that Ellie would be thrilled. Ellie was a little stinker, we know she would have given us a lot of grief in her teenage years. She was sneaky and a little trickster already, at just nine months old. But she was so sweet. She loved to be cuddled and snuggled. She loved people. She loved laughter and smiles. Making other people happy, especially kids, is the perfect way to honor Ellie.
Tomorrow we are bringing our big donation to the Children's Hospital for the bereavement program and on December 3rd we are serving dinner at the Ronald McDonald House and bringing things for the ICU families. But what I'm really excited for is the Toys for Tots drive. To be able to go buy a bunch of toys and do it in our girl's memory is amazing. We are so grateful to be able to do this for her...



My good friend and old roommate, Lo, did something very special on Belle's Angelversary and I have been waiting to share it until all the other stuff had passed. Lo did a day of Random Acts of Kindness in honor of Ellie! I love it! Here's the pictures she sent us...

She put change on bikes, soda machines, etc for people to use. She also brought donuts in for her clients- all while sporting her Ellie's Light shirt! Awesome! Thanks Lo!

My mom's work also donated 40 Buddies!! Thank you!!

 

Our friends, Court and Aaron, wrote Ellie's name in the sand on their vacation at Elysium Beach, Paphos Cyprus. Thanks guys!

I also have to say thank you to everyone who showed us so much love and support during this last very difficult month. It was the only reason we survived... I am so glad to have it behind us now, but now we are left trying to make sense of being without Ellie for over a year...