So.....

Well it's not something that I'm really ready to share yet...




BUT, it's getting kind of hard to hide this...

And the reason for my quickly growing stomach IS-

That's right! TWINS!

This stupid picture will NOT rotate correctly when uploaded... 10wk 3D Ultrasound

These two will {hopefully} be joining our family in May. Their due date is May 31st, but they will likely make an appearance early to mid May. I will be 13 weeks on Thanksgiving and know that I should be relaxing a little bit now. But it's much easier said than done. I'm very worried. The anxiety is almost crippling and before each OB appt I'm sick to my stomach with nerves...
I went to my doctor today and she was able to hear both heartbeats with the doppler. I have strict instructions to gain more weight- even though I have been shoving food in already!- I want some big fat, chubby babies that don't have to spend anytime in a NICU.
The last 13 weeks have been very long... Between weeks 5- 11, I felt horrible. So tired, dizzy, nauseous and crabby. Having two in there has definitely made a difference. With Ellie and Max, I didn't feel great. But this time is a whole new ball game! It's been a struggle. Thankfully, the last week I have felt better so I hope it stays this way!
Our twins are di-di twins- meaning they have their own sac and placentas. For twins, it's the best case scenario- it's like having two separate pregnancies going on at the same time. But I am still considered high risk. After I reach 24 weeks, I will be monitored on a more intense schedule. At 24 weeks I will start every two week appts, and at 30 weeks, I start weekly ultrasounds... Thankfully, I have the best OB who understands exactly what we've been through with infertility treatments, Max's autism and Ellie's passing. She is not willing to feed into my anxieties but is willing to whatever we need to make me feel good about things. It's a very good mix and I am so glad I found her 5 years ago!
Until I was actually pregnant, I never thought that losing Ellie would affect how I feel about any future pregnancies as much as it has. With both kids I was hesistant at first, but excited beyond belief. This time, is much different. I want to be excited, but I am just not convinced that everything is going to be ok. I am following all the pregnancy rules and doing what I should, especially in the way of growing TWO babies, but there is a total disconnect. I have felt them move a couple of times, but nothing consistent. I hope once they start moving more, it will seem more real... So yes, I know things will likely be fine. But Ellie was perfectly healthy (so we thought) until the day she died, so it's a little harder to convince me this time around...
I am hoping that by sharing the news- which we had to do because there's really no hiding my gigantic stomach anymore- it gets me a little more excited. So like any person that hasn't had their heart ripped out would do... here's some other pictures!

Baby A- aka Pebbles

Baby B- aka Bam-Bam. (seriously Blogger!)

 

 So I had an ultrasound at 10 weeks (I convinced my doctor it was necessary since I lost Ellie's twin between 8-9 weeks- I needed the peace of mind!). My mom came with me since Dave was at work and we laughed as we watched Baby B kick Baby A over and over again... They are already fighting!

12 weeks and One Day... yeah I'm going to be GIGANTIC!!