Ellie, Our Angel

Ellie Lauree, Our Forever Angel

Ellie's story is one filled of joy and happiness, heartache and sorrow. Ellie, who we nicknamed Peanut pretty much as soon as we met her, was born on January 15, 2010. She came into the world hollering, an entrance truly fitting of our girl. From the very beginning, she had the charm turned on and wrapped us around her perfectly long, chubby fingers.
For just over nine months, Ellie lit up our world and taught us to find joy in even the smallest of things. Ellie loved to bang a tin pie plate on the kitchen floor, throw duplos across the room and play peek-a-boo with her beloved pink and green blankie. She loved to snuggle up with her fuzzy head tucked under our chins, fingers wrapped around her blankie, nuk in mouth and cankles crossed. Ellie loved for me to sing Baby Beluga to her when she was upset or sleepy. She loved to pretend she was shy but really loved to be the center of attention, a true ham. Our goofy, smart, charming and adorable girl, that's Ellie.

In the early morning hours of October 24, 2010 Ellie came down with what seemed to be a typical childhood fever/ cold/ illness. By 10:00 am, I was on my way to the Children's Hospital via ambulance with a pale, mottled and barely conscious baby. Within hours Ellie was intubated and barely hanging on in the pediatric intensive care unit. We were told our only hope was to transfer her to another hospital and put her on ECMO- the heart/ lung bypass machine. Ellie made it to the other hospital and was put on the machine. However, the remarkable doctors & nurses were never able to get ahead of Ellie's rapidly progressing illness. Around 3:00 am on October 25, 2010 Ellie passed away my arms, surrounded by our incredible family and friends. It was later determined that Ellie's spleen quit functioning early on in her life, leaving her susceptible to overwhelming infection. In the end, a pneumococcal infection took our sweet girl from us forever.

We are learning how to live without our daughter, our Peanut. Everyday seems nearly impossible without her. Almost immediately after her death, we decided we would not let her memory slowly fade from us, from the world. So we are working on establishing a non-profit in her memory- Ellie's Light. I always felt that Ellie's life was different from everyone else's. I never knew why I felt this but now, I know. Even though Ellie was only here for nine months, she has already made an incredible impact. Maybe her purpose was to come here and teach joy, happiness and kindess- to teach love. I am not ok with Ellie being somewhere besides with us, but, I didn't get to choose. So, now, as her Mama, I will make sure her short but incredibly beautiful life has a reason. I will keep her light shining.

Ellie Lauree,
I will forever be thankful for every second I got with you. No matter how far apart we are, you are always in my heart. I love you just as much now as the day we had to say good-bye, and always will.
I love you forever and ever, Mama