Sunday, November 6, 2011

I'm Back

I took a little bit of a break from my blog... the last few weeks were extremely exhausting and stressful. Just looking through Ellie's pictures was more difficult than I anticipated. Of course, I didn't need to share those pictures of Ellie's last day, her visitation and funeral, but I thought it was important. I think that too often people forget that babies are people too. Just because Ellie was only here for 250 days, doesn't mean she was any less loved or cared for, or any less important than a 98 year old. Our goal with Ellie's Light is to soften the blow to families who are experiencing this worst kind of pain, and if people don't understand what these families go through, than we won't ever accomplish our goal.
I never wanted Ellie to serve as a "lesson." I don't like to hear that people have learned so much from our situation. When we met Ellie for the first time on Jan 15th, 2010, I never thought her life would be what it is now. But it is... Ellie's pictures from the last day of her life won't ever be shown in their entirety. We probably won't ever show them again. They aren't our girl. Yes, ambulances, tubes, bags of blood, autopsy, casket and funeral are all words that are a part of Ellie's story now. But they are not Ellie's story. They are one week of Ellie's story...
Ellie's story is one of happiness, joy and love. Our girl was silly, smart and sweet. And that is why the other part of Ellie's Light is spreading joy. That part is for us. It is for us to do something that reminds of our girl. Being able to spend tons of money on Christmas presents for kids that may otherwise not get many, is an amazing feeling. We know that Ellie would be thrilled. Ellie was a little stinker, we know she would have given us a lot of grief in her teenage years. She was sneaky and a little trickster already, at just nine months old. But she was so sweet. She loved to be cuddled and snuggled. She loved people. She loved laughter and smiles. Making other people happy, especially kids, is the perfect way to honor Ellie.
Tomorrow we are bringing our big donation to the Children's Hospital for the bereavement program and on December 3rd we are serving dinner at the Ronald McDonald House and bringing things for the ICU families. But what I'm really excited for is the Toys for Tots drive. To be able to go buy a bunch of toys and do it in our girl's memory is amazing. We are so grateful to be able to do this for her...



My good friend and old roommate, Lo, did something very special on Belle's Angelversary and I have been waiting to share it until all the other stuff had passed. Lo did a day of Random Acts of Kindness in honor of Ellie! I love it! Here's the pictures she sent us...


She put change on bikes, soda machines, etc for people to use. She also brought donuts in for her clients- all while sporting her Ellie's Light shirt! Awesome! Thanks Lo!

My mom's work also donated 40 Buddies!! Thank you!!

Our friends, Court and Aaron, wrote Ellie's name in the sand on their vacation at Elysium Beach, Paphos Cyprus. Thanks guys!


I also have to say thank you to everyone who showed us so much love and support during this last very difficult month. It was the only reason we survived... I am so glad to have it behind us now, but now we are left trying to make sense of being without Ellie for over a year...

10 comments:

Alissa said...

I totally agree with you about how people will say things like they have learned so much from the loss of my child. It hurts because life shouldn't be like that. People shouldn't have to learn compassion or about the world of loss through our experiences...compassion and empathy should be engrained in everything everyone does. However, our children have served as "lessons" or reminders of all that is good. Our children's innocence and lives show what is good in this world. They brought happiness...love...and goondess into our lives. And they brought that to others too, despite how short their lives were. I love what you are doing in honor of your sweet Ellie....you are an amazing mother to an amazing little girl. Sending big hugs your way. <3 <3 <3

Kelly said...

It hurts me when people say that they are holding their children extra tight after hearing Adam's story. Because, you should hold your children tight regardless, and I don't know why anyone would think telling me that is helpful when I have no Adam to hold. Your thing about Ellie being a lesson made me think of this. I love what your friend did with all the change every where. So sweet! Still thinking of you and your sweet girl. <3

Robin said...

The random acts of kindness is so great! I love the idea and what a super way to honor a great little girl! Ellie is so loved by so many, even us whom do not even know her. Praying for you and your family always!

LauraJane said...

The random acts of kindness is so amazing. So smart.

And of course Ellie is so much more than in her final hours. She is so very obviously a wonderful, loving, beautiful girl. I can see just how much joy she brought to your life in those 250 days. Such a gift. :)

Caroline said...

Always praying for you and your family.
I love the random acts of kindness.

{{Hugs}}

crystal said...

Praying for you. Sending all my love to you and your family. Ellie is a beautiful little girl and has a beautiful story to share. Thanks for sharing her with us!!!

Ashley said...

That so was wonderful to read...you are right that all those words are only a part (little part) of Ellie's story but she is MUCH more than just that last week of her life.

Thinking of you always!! ((Hugs))

Tiffany said...

her life is so meaningful. and i'm so thankful that you continue to share her with us. thinking of you guys. i know how hard that day was for you. lots of love to you. <3 Ellie <3

Sarita Boyette said...

I know this past year has been so very hard. (((HUGS))) to all of you. Ellie's Light will shine on and touch many lives. She was a precious baby girl with such a great personality. She mattered and STILL matters!

NewYearMum2.blogspot.com said...

You are doing such amazing work in Ellie's name... you are truly a brave and inspirational mum to her and your son. Love to you always xoxo

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