Sunday, April 3, 2011

4/3/11

Too tired, too stuffy and too dizzy for anything but posting my pictures from last year....

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Remembering April 3rd, 2010

In 2009, my Grandma was very sick and we pretty much skipped Christmas. So we decided to have a Christmas/ Easter celebration all at once. It worked out so well we decided to do it again this year. Plus by having a big Easter, instead of Christmas, we were able to have Ellie included. I'm so glad we did, because we didn't get Christmas with Elle this year...

This is what fantastic days are made of...

 My mom and I went shopping with the kids last year to get Easter outfits. I really wanted matching outfits but we couldn't find any. But thats ok, because they looked to cute. I love this picture of the two of them. Max was leaning in to give her a hug.
Poor Maxer was awfully sick this day. He spent most of the day being held and playing with his friends. He woke up from his nap with a nice croup cough.
 Max did summon up a little energy to hunt for eggs! I was so excited that he actually participated.

 <3 Daddy and Ellie <3

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Another Happy List

Happy List

Reminders of my Peanut
I love to see Ellie's name written. And I love when I know other people are thinking of her too. It gives me peace to know that she isn't slipping away...



Ellie's Aunt Emily took this picture today. "Ellie Ct."

Let's Dish
My very kind and generous co-workers from the hospital bought nine meals for us at Let's Dish and they were dropped off this week. They already gave us 8 meals last month! It's so nice to have something easy to make for dinner. We are getting sick of pizza and Noodles! Thank you 8th floor!

Max Being Max
Max has decided that certain things, especially tortillas, need to be eaten in "Daddy chair." He looks so old sitting in the big person chair. I don't know why, but it makes me smile!

Murphy's Oil Soap
We have been obsessively cleaning our house the week to get it ready to put on the market and we cleaned the cupboards with Murphy's Oil Soap. They look so pretty and shiny!

DQ M&M Blizzard
Dave just went to DQ to get me a blizzard for my very sore throat.

Afternoon Walks
The weather has been nice this week so Max and I have been taking long walks in the afternoon after his nap.

Baseball is back!
I would like to say the Twin's Opener is on the Happy List for this week... but sadly, they got brutalized. Maybe we shouldn't have gotten rid of Punto! :)
Max sporting his Twins shirt... we had high hopes...

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Remembering April 2nd, 2010

This pictures make me happy and sad all at once. We got the little kids together last year to dye eggs the day before we celebrated Easter. I remember this day, the older kids got to skip school and we all just hung out and had fun. I'm so sad Peanut won't get to ever experience this again. But so glad we at least got to do it once with her...


 Max dying Easter eggs. Mostly he dyed his hands...

 

Friday, April 1, 2011

Poem

If  Tears Could Build A Stairway

 If tears could build a stairway
And memories were a lane
We would walk right up to heaven
And bring you back again

No farewell words were spoken
No time to say goodbye
You were gone before we knew it
And only God knows why

Our hearts still ache in sadness
And secret tears still flow
What it meant to lose you
No one can ever know

But now we know you want us
To mourn for you no more
To remember all the happy times
Life still has much in store

Since you'll never be forgotten
We pledge to you today
A hallowed place within our hearts
Is where you'll always stay


This morning as Max and I were waiting in the never-ending line at the Post Office, I was thinking how it would be to do these sorts of errands with two toddlers. Max doesn't like the Post Office and going there with him takes great consideration and you must go with the mindset that you might not actually last there long enough to do what you need to. Add in a 15 month old and things could have been ugly... But then it occurred to me that if Ellie was still alive, I wouldn't have been at the Post Office today. I was there to open a PO Box for Ellie's Light. So much of what my days consist of now, is only there because Ellie is not. Moving, putting together the cookbook, Ellie's Light, messaging other BLM's, it's all because Ellie died. Aidan's Mommy Natasha, said today, she just can't believe this is her life. I agree. How did my life get to be this way? We shouldn't have met with our realtors this morning. I shouldn't have been at the Post Office today. I shouldn't even be writing these words. But I am. And I still can't believe it.

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Remembering April 1st, 2010

I have an especially hard time believing it when I look at pictures from just one year ago. One year ago today, was the first day that was nice enough to take the kids to the park. My mom brought our nephew, Evan, down after dinner and we all walked down to the park. It was Ellie's first trip to the park...

She's not too sure about this "park" everyone keeps speaking of...

 Here comes the tears and the lip... :( 
One of the few times Max agreed to get in the wagon...

Ellie holding on to her blankie for dear life as we make our way to the park. Little cuddle-bug

Max and Daddy
Little Peanut's 1st ride on the swings- she didn't really care!