After this things started to fall apart pretty quickly...
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Friday, February 1, 2013
Ellie's Third Birthday
On January 15th, Ellie should have turned three.
There should have been a little girl with pigtails, sassy mouth and big blue eyes, waking us up at the crack of down to remind us that she was now three. There should have been a big Princess or Dora, or whatever, birthday party. There should have been cake. There should have been candles. There should have been someone to blow out those three little candles. And there should have been a little girl there to open presents. There should have been laughter and giggles. There should be a picture on my camera of Ellie at exactly 12:42pm.
But there wasn't any of that.
There were balloons. At the cemetery. There was singing. At the cemetery.
The presents we bought were three stuffed animals for Ellie's Light, a purple blanket for her "room" and a candle that smells of sugar- what I imagine our three year old would smell like. The presents weren't opened. The card never read.
There were cupcakes. But no cake. This mommy couldn't bear another conversation with a baker about the birthday girl.
There were tears. Not because I can't believe my baby is growing up so fast. But tears because my baby isn't growing up at all. Because we never got to see Ellie do any of the things that birthday girls do.
Birthdays are supposed to come every year. But sometimes they don't.
***
Dear Peanut,
Three years.
I really can't picture you as a three year old. But I bet you'd be a little mother to all three of your siblings, but a little bit of a puppet master. Smart, funny and adorable. I know there would still be that sparkle in your eyes. Honestly, I don't like to think of you as a three year old. I like to think of you as our chubby, sweet and endearing nine month old. I like to think that some day, we will get to see you blow out three candles on a pink and purple birthday cake. I like to believe that we will get back every moment we have missed with you.
I am so grateful for that day three years ago when you came screaming into this world. From the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you were something special. You were magical from the minute you arrived, and there hasn't been since, that I stopped believing that you were here to serve a special purpose. Your mere existence forever changed our lives, and so many the lives of so many others.
You are in a word, amazing.
Happy third birthday to our beautiful, beautiful girl. I miss you everyday, every minute.
Love you forever and ever. And ever and ever,
Mama
Friday, January 25, 2013
8 months x2
How did the babies get to be 8 months already?! Crazy...
I know most people probably don't care about what the babies are eating now, how long they sleep or what size clothes they wear.... this is just a way for me to document so that someday when I get to their baby books, I can actually write something in it!
Levi
Weight: Not really sure, but I would guess 19ish lbs.
Diaper Size: size 3
Clothing Size: pjs 9 months, shirts 12 months and pants are some 9 months and some 12 months
Nicknames: Buddy, Giant Baby, Cubby, Blanket Baby
Feeding: Still on the Gentlease Formula. Six ounces first thing in the morning and right before bed. Otherwise about 5 ounces every three to four hours depending on solids. He is eating solids at breakfast, lunch and dinner. Usually gets a fruit with oatmeal or cereal in the morning, a vegetable at lunch along with something that they can feed to themselves like a popsicle or food in those gross mesh bags. At dinner he eats a vegetable or meat/ veggie combo followed by fruit and then baby crack- aka puffs. Lately, Levi has been whining or crying for his food before meal time- this boy is a good eater! He really likes most foods, but isn't a huge fan of things in those mesh bags (don't blame him!) We tried small pieces of banana last night and that ended in a huge puke, so I guess purees for awhile still! Doing really well with drinking water out of a sippy cup.
Sleep: We finally made the transition to the crib- and more importantly- flat on the back! It was a rough couple nights for Levi, but now he seems to like it. I have even weaned them from their Podsters at nap time. He was waking up a lot for a week or so, (so was Addy) and we finally decided they were cold. A couple of fleece sleep sacks solved that problem though! Levi goes to sleep around 7:30pm and usually sleeps until 3-5am, takes a bottle and goes back to sleep until 6-6:30am. He naps two or three times throughout the day. He has recently started throwing a big fit when he gets tired and not wanting to go sleep. It may be time for him to start putting himself to sleep (instead of being held) soon. But we'll see. I like the cuddles...
Firsts: First Christmas! Our kids are very lucky and have so many people that love them and that want to spend time with them at the holidays, so we were very busy! Levi loved having people around and loved playing with new toys. He looked pretty dang cute in his Christmas clothes too! First trip to the zoo. Levi was very curious and serious most of the time we were there. He really looks at things and checks them out. He really liked the fish and penguins! Celebrated Ellie's 3rd birthday. Sitting up in the bath tub in a bath seat. Levi really likes bath tub and sitting in the big tub just makes it that much better!
Skills/ Milestones: Sitting up unsupported! Second tooth! Hollering back and forth and laughing with Addy. Trying popsicles and lots of new foods, including puffs. Levi started doing this upper body back-and-forth dance- hilarious! Clapping hands. Banging things together. Occasionally signing "more." Standing up straight- putting weight on his feet. Scoots a little on his tummy- not much but he sure tries! Playing Peek-a-Boo. Putting his nuk in his mouth.
Words/ Noises: Ma-Ma, Da-Da, Ba-Ba, Ni-Ni (I swear he says this when he is tired- he's pretty consistent with it!).
Life with Levi: My sweet, sweet boy. Levi is so cuddly. He loves his blankie and to wrap his arms around you. His little hands and feet constantly move and his fingers massage his blankie, his shirt- whatever he can get his hands on. He wants to touch everything and when you take something away from him that he really wants- he cries- hard- until you give it back! He is so funny and will laugh at pretty much everything. He has gotten so silly lately and loves to make us laugh. He still thinks Addy is hilarious, even if she constantly steals his things. But he is learning to take things back! He loves "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and being read to (of course, he thinks that funny too!). Levi is very serious until he makes a decision on what he thinks of something. I think he must be very smart. He is very focused. Love my sweet boy and his chubby hands that never stop moving!
Addy
Weight: not really sure... 17ish lbs.
Diaper Size: Size 3
Clothes Size: nine months
Nicknames: Buggy, Bug, Buggers, Little Missy
Eating: Addy gets thawed frozen breast milk mixed with formula. She is taking about 5oz every 3-4 hours depending on when she eats her solids, and takes 6oz just before bed and first thing in the morning. Addy has gotten much better with liking her purees. She still turns her nose up at some things and definitely prefers fruit. She seems to like any store bought food better than what I make. I guess maybe because of the smoother texture? Addy still likes to eat things like banana and avocado in the mesh bag and likes popsicles. Addy loves puffs and did pretty good with banana chunks the other night. Addy does really great with water in a sippy cup, and even lifts it way up like she is chugging it. Addy doesn't quite inhale her food like Levi and takes more time in between bites. Little Missy makes a lot of funny faces while eating, and if she has an audience- makes even more, and exaggerates them.
Sleep: Addy usually goes to sleep at 7:30pm and sleeps for 15min. Then wakes up and wants to be held for a little bit, this isn't happening as much as it used to, but still happens. Then she usually sleeps until 4:30 or 5am, wakes for a bottle and goes back to sleep until 6:30-7 am. She is taking several short naps a day but occasionally will take a good long nap. Addy made a pretty easy transition to laying on her back in the crib. She was waking up a lot, but is doing much better with her warm sleep sack.
Firsts: First Christmas! No surprise that Addy loved everything about Christmas. All the people and attention, the new things to play with. Did I mention the attention? She handled all the busy days wonderfully! First trip to the zoo. Addy liked the zoo, and liked looking at the fish, but seemed more interested in whoever was carrying her or other people milling around. Celebrated Ellie's 3rd birthday. Sitting up in the bath tub in a bath seat. Addy loves sitting up like a big girl and being able to play in the water.
Skills/ Milestones: Signs "more" and "all done" somewhat consistently. Clapping her hands, banging things together, playing Peek-a-Boo. The occasional wave. Her little Addy dance every time music comes on. Addy is an expert at putting her nuk in her mouth (and Levi's nuk too!). Addy is also a master at getting people's attention- this girl has some serious skill in this department!
Words/ Noises: Ma-ma, Da-Da, Ba-Ba, MA-MA!!!, mo-mo (more), Hiiii (I swear she says hi), he-he (yes she actually says he-he when she laughs)
Life with Addy: I seriously had no idea that someone so young and little, could have such an attitude and aptitude for getting attention. If we (or anyone really, even Levi) is not giving her the attention she needs, she will straighten her little arms, throw them down and holler at you while glaring. It's hilarious. Addy is a goofball. She acts like she's shy, but she's definitely not. She's animated and dramatic. She's issues- Mommy issues. Major Mommy issues! Addy is a people person and an overall happy (as long as she's getting exactly what she wants) little girl. She is all girl and I'm pretty sure she thinks she's an only child. Love my little needy little goofball!
Some more pictures of the small people, or "peeps" as Max calls them...
I know most people probably don't care about what the babies are eating now, how long they sleep or what size clothes they wear.... this is just a way for me to document so that someday when I get to their baby books, I can actually write something in it!
Levi
Weight: Not really sure, but I would guess 19ish lbs.
Diaper Size: size 3
Clothing Size: pjs 9 months, shirts 12 months and pants are some 9 months and some 12 months
Nicknames: Buddy, Giant Baby, Cubby, Blanket Baby
Feeding: Still on the Gentlease Formula. Six ounces first thing in the morning and right before bed. Otherwise about 5 ounces every three to four hours depending on solids. He is eating solids at breakfast, lunch and dinner. Usually gets a fruit with oatmeal or cereal in the morning, a vegetable at lunch along with something that they can feed to themselves like a popsicle or food in those gross mesh bags. At dinner he eats a vegetable or meat/ veggie combo followed by fruit and then baby crack- aka puffs. Lately, Levi has been whining or crying for his food before meal time- this boy is a good eater! He really likes most foods, but isn't a huge fan of things in those mesh bags (don't blame him!) We tried small pieces of banana last night and that ended in a huge puke, so I guess purees for awhile still! Doing really well with drinking water out of a sippy cup.
Sleep: We finally made the transition to the crib- and more importantly- flat on the back! It was a rough couple nights for Levi, but now he seems to like it. I have even weaned them from their Podsters at nap time. He was waking up a lot for a week or so, (so was Addy) and we finally decided they were cold. A couple of fleece sleep sacks solved that problem though! Levi goes to sleep around 7:30pm and usually sleeps until 3-5am, takes a bottle and goes back to sleep until 6-6:30am. He naps two or three times throughout the day. He has recently started throwing a big fit when he gets tired and not wanting to go sleep. It may be time for him to start putting himself to sleep (instead of being held) soon. But we'll see. I like the cuddles...
Firsts: First Christmas! Our kids are very lucky and have so many people that love them and that want to spend time with them at the holidays, so we were very busy! Levi loved having people around and loved playing with new toys. He looked pretty dang cute in his Christmas clothes too! First trip to the zoo. Levi was very curious and serious most of the time we were there. He really looks at things and checks them out. He really liked the fish and penguins! Celebrated Ellie's 3rd birthday. Sitting up in the bath tub in a bath seat. Levi really likes bath tub and sitting in the big tub just makes it that much better!
Skills/ Milestones: Sitting up unsupported! Second tooth! Hollering back and forth and laughing with Addy. Trying popsicles and lots of new foods, including puffs. Levi started doing this upper body back-and-forth dance- hilarious! Clapping hands. Banging things together. Occasionally signing "more." Standing up straight- putting weight on his feet. Scoots a little on his tummy- not much but he sure tries! Playing Peek-a-Boo. Putting his nuk in his mouth.
Words/ Noises: Ma-Ma, Da-Da, Ba-Ba, Ni-Ni (I swear he says this when he is tired- he's pretty consistent with it!).
Life with Levi: My sweet, sweet boy. Levi is so cuddly. He loves his blankie and to wrap his arms around you. His little hands and feet constantly move and his fingers massage his blankie, his shirt- whatever he can get his hands on. He wants to touch everything and when you take something away from him that he really wants- he cries- hard- until you give it back! He is so funny and will laugh at pretty much everything. He has gotten so silly lately and loves to make us laugh. He still thinks Addy is hilarious, even if she constantly steals his things. But he is learning to take things back! He loves "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and being read to (of course, he thinks that funny too!). Levi is very serious until he makes a decision on what he thinks of something. I think he must be very smart. He is very focused. Love my sweet boy and his chubby hands that never stop moving!
Addy
Weight: not really sure... 17ish lbs.
Diaper Size: Size 3
Clothes Size: nine months
Nicknames: Buggy, Bug, Buggers, Little Missy
Eating: Addy gets thawed frozen breast milk mixed with formula. She is taking about 5oz every 3-4 hours depending on when she eats her solids, and takes 6oz just before bed and first thing in the morning. Addy has gotten much better with liking her purees. She still turns her nose up at some things and definitely prefers fruit. She seems to like any store bought food better than what I make. I guess maybe because of the smoother texture? Addy still likes to eat things like banana and avocado in the mesh bag and likes popsicles. Addy loves puffs and did pretty good with banana chunks the other night. Addy does really great with water in a sippy cup, and even lifts it way up like she is chugging it. Addy doesn't quite inhale her food like Levi and takes more time in between bites. Little Missy makes a lot of funny faces while eating, and if she has an audience- makes even more, and exaggerates them.
Sleep: Addy usually goes to sleep at 7:30pm and sleeps for 15min. Then wakes up and wants to be held for a little bit, this isn't happening as much as it used to, but still happens. Then she usually sleeps until 4:30 or 5am, wakes for a bottle and goes back to sleep until 6:30-7 am. She is taking several short naps a day but occasionally will take a good long nap. Addy made a pretty easy transition to laying on her back in the crib. She was waking up a lot, but is doing much better with her warm sleep sack.
Firsts: First Christmas! No surprise that Addy loved everything about Christmas. All the people and attention, the new things to play with. Did I mention the attention? She handled all the busy days wonderfully! First trip to the zoo. Addy liked the zoo, and liked looking at the fish, but seemed more interested in whoever was carrying her or other people milling around. Celebrated Ellie's 3rd birthday. Sitting up in the bath tub in a bath seat. Addy loves sitting up like a big girl and being able to play in the water.
Skills/ Milestones: Signs "more" and "all done" somewhat consistently. Clapping her hands, banging things together, playing Peek-a-Boo. The occasional wave. Her little Addy dance every time music comes on. Addy is an expert at putting her nuk in her mouth (and Levi's nuk too!). Addy is also a master at getting people's attention- this girl has some serious skill in this department!
Words/ Noises: Ma-ma, Da-Da, Ba-Ba, MA-MA!!!, mo-mo (more), Hiiii (I swear she says hi), he-he (yes she actually says he-he when she laughs)
Life with Addy: I seriously had no idea that someone so young and little, could have such an attitude and aptitude for getting attention. If we (or anyone really, even Levi) is not giving her the attention she needs, she will straighten her little arms, throw them down and holler at you while glaring. It's hilarious. Addy is a goofball. She acts like she's shy, but she's definitely not. She's animated and dramatic. She's issues- Mommy issues. Major Mommy issues! Addy is a people person and an overall happy (as long as she's getting exactly what she wants) little girl. She is all girl and I'm pretty sure she thinks she's an only child. Love my little needy little goofball!
Some more pictures of the small people, or "peeps" as Max calls them...
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Twelve for Twelve
Twelve Pictures for 2012
We celebrated the second birthday of our little Peanut. We celebrated her with cake, ice cream and a blanket making party, while Ellie celebrated in Heaven.
In February, we welcomed our nephew Layton into the family! I love this picture of his little feet! And so proud of my SIL for how awesome she did with a long and really hard labor and delivery!
Spring was definitely dominated by growing babies- and my growing midsection! At this point I was still able to move around somewhat easily. We were very happy to have made it to this point in the pregnancy!
Letting Max do some VERY messy sensory play with shaving cream and water... I tried to make sure that he got plenty of special activities in before the babies arrived.
The babies holding hands in the OR. Unbelievably amazing day.
Our first "as-close-as-we-are-ever-going-to-get-to-a-family-picture" picture.
Love this picture! And I love hanging out in the yard with the kids in the evening.
Photo taken by Brilicious Photography
In August, we had our big Light Up the Lanes event for Ellie's Light and raised $9500. It made me pretty emotional to see Ellie's picture everywhere at the event. I miss her so much but it's pretty amazing to see what wonderful things her little life inspired.
In September, we welcomed another little nephew, Alex! I am so glad that the babies are going to have cousins that are so close in age!
Max at exactly 4:44pm on October 3rd. His 4th birthday!
While this great look we are sporting was for a Halloween party, the party was actually in November, so I can use it for my November picture! We live in an awesome neighborhood with really, really wonderful neighbors and we never get to do stuff like this- it was a really fun night!
Christmas Eve. Celebrating Addy and Levi's first Christmas, Max's excitement in "normal" kid Christmas activities while missing our Ellie.
It was kind of hard to just picture twelve pictures from the thousands we've taken this year!
January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
In August, we had our big Light Up the Lanes event for Ellie's Light and raised $9500. It made me pretty emotional to see Ellie's picture everywhere at the event. I miss her so much but it's pretty amazing to see what wonderful things her little life inspired.
September
October
November
December
It was kind of hard to just picture twelve pictures from the thousands we've taken this year!
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