Still Cookin'

Thankfully, I was only on bed rest for 4.5 days! I went to see my regular OB and she decided that bed rest was probably a bit of an over reaction on the part of the clinic. Unfortunately cervical checks are not an exact science and everyone can have a slightly different opinion of how far someone is effaced and dilated. When my regular doctor checked me, she didn't think that anything had changed and that I was exactly where I should be for someone who is carrying multiples and on their third pregnancy. Dr. C told me to just take it easy, but that I could go back to "normal" life.

I can't even tell you how relieved I was when we left that appointment. No one seems to think that I am at any more risk for preterm labor than anyone else! Today I am 31 weeks and 4 days, and we are only a few days away from reaching our first goal of 32 weeks!

This past Tuesday I had the first of my weekly growth scans and was shocked to find out that the babies were each 3lb and 8oz! That's seven pounds of JUST baby! If I had the ability to jump up and click my heels I would have! And both are head down (for now anyways)! I really, really hope that they stay this way because I really don't have to have a c-section. During the ultrasound both babies were head down and facing each other and as hard as the tech tried, neither would cooperate for a good picture. We did see that Bo-Peep already has some hair and per her usual, kept kicking the ultrasound tech during the exam! I think she's gonna be a stinker!

A few people that have had twins said to be prepared when weeks 30-32 arrive. I've been told it's like getting hit by a Mack truck. And they weren't wrong. I am so tired. More tired than I have ever been. I can't hardly breathe, my muscles are sore, achy and tired like I've run a marathon. I love that the babies are so active but they move so much and take up so much room in my stomach, that it makes me want to puke! I want these two to stay in for at least four more weeks, but I fear how I will feel as they keep getting bigger.

Mentally, I feel like a wreck! I actually asked the doctor the other day if there is anything they can do for "baby brain" because I am so, so stupid lately! I can't think. I can't remember anything. I feel like I'm very much in our little world and that's it. I feel between getting ready for TWO babies (which is still an idea that I can't really grasp), taking care of Max, feeling awful and the stress of another holiday without Ellie, I don't have the mental or emotional capacity to deal with anything else. Dealing with our lives in this house takes up everything. It's a very weird and disconnected feeling. Maybe it's just my body and mind's way of preparing for whats to come... I don't know. So if I seem like flake lately, that's why.

With that said, I don't feel like being a part of any sort of Easter celebration this year. I don't want to deal with another holiday without Ellie. Any thing that takes any sort of effort on my part, seems exhausting. I'm supposed to having a "low stress" existence according to my doctor... [insert laughs here]... I don't think that's really possible but I think laying low is the best way to play the only major holiday we got with our girl...
There's more I was going write. And I had planned on writing something a little more profound or even something that just made a little bit more sense, but let's be honest- it's 9pm and I'm tired!

I have another appointment tomorrow along with a growth scan and biophysical profile scan. Hopefully they will get a couple good pictures and I'll be able to share those.