Day 18: Family Photo
I am positive that unless you have lost a child, you have no idea how painful a family picture is. It is a reminder of what will never be and what is missing. No matter how the child is represented in the picture- it is not the same. It kills me to know that this is the closest thing I have to a picture of all of my kids-
Because lets be honest- this is a picture of three living kids and a headstone. A headstone that marks the place where a casket containing my daughter's body lies. Its messed up. And I hate it.
Addy and Levi will never have a picture with their sister. I will never have a picture with my husband and ALL my children. This is as close as it will ever get-
And that sucks.
Our last family photo before Ellie left...
4 comments:
I usually dont comment but this post it hits me exactly where I am. Pictures are something we as a family have always treasure. Every year in November for the past 4 years we have done a professional family picture. I looked forward to this year because last year I was pregnant with Jayden. This year he would have been 10 months today and now my family picture will be without him- I actually just receive a email from the photographer and I just dont think I can do it. I dont want him missing. Ellie's pictures are so very beautiful.
I have not been on blogland in awhile, but I wanted to come on and tell you that I am thinking of you this week. 2 years already--how can that be???
xox momma. I so agree with all you wrote about the photos and the trouble with trying to capture your whole family in an image. </3
I'm thinking of you over the next couple of days. I hate that you can (more than likely) vividly remember where you were two years ago at this very moment... And how unaware you were. HATE that so much.
xox momma.
How I understand this. We didn't take newborn photos with/for Benjamin because we were so sad that Andrew couldn't be in any of them.
We haven't taken formal family photos because of it either. It's still too hard.
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