Thursday, May 5, 2011

Ellie likes her Baby Beluga

After I dropped Max off at therapy this morning, I headed out to the cemetery. I wanted to spend some quiet time by my baby girl. The anxiety seems to be creeping back in big time. It's been awhile since I've felt this anxious about Ellie being gone. That familiar pit in my stomach is back and any thoughts of the hospital or the day she got sick, make my throat tight and my heart race.
Dave's sister gets married this weekend. And it's going to be a hard weekend without her. Ellie loved this kind of stuff. And I'm sure as a 15 month old, she would be crazy for it. And then Mother's Day... I've been using this weekend as my excuse to not pack. To not deal with the house and Ellie's room. After this weekend... well, I'm sure I can come up with something...

Anyways, I was out at the cemetery this morning. Today, it's gray and chilly again in Minnesota- I'm starting to develop a serious hatred for this state... I talked to Peanut for a while and then sang her her favorite song, "Baby Beluga." As I started singing, her previously still pinwheel, starting spinning. And then four little tiny birds came out of nowhere and landed right by me! Obviously, Ellie still likes her Baby Beluga.

Thanks Ellie, it was just what I needed. I love you Peanut!

13 comments:

Kaylan said...

LOVE this picture of your Ellie! It is so adorable. Happy she sent you a sign today...and as a fellow Minnesotan, totally agree with you about the weather. Ugh!! Praying for you as we come up on Mother's Day.

Deanna said...

how sweet! Ellie showed her Mommy that she is there when she is needed the most. Thinking of you this weekend. I completely understand the knot in your stomach and the wrenching at your heart this week. I can't attribute it to one thing myself either, I just know that I have to focus on breathing as my chest feels so heavy. Thinking of you and Ellie this weekend!!

LauraJane said...

*Sob*
This is going to be a tough weekend for you, I'm sure. Thinking of you and so happy Ellie showed herself this week. :)

TanaLee Davis said...

TanaLee loved that song too. While hubs and I were living in Seattle we visited the aquarium there and bought the book to go along with the song. She loved it. The colorful and bright pages got her eyes looking like mini darts all over the page. *sigh*
Thanks for sharing, yet another thing our girls have in common.
~Felicia

made in mn said...

cheeeeeks! i'll be thinking about you this weekend and about how i should turn 28 again soon we can hang out :)

ASHLEY ELDER said...

What a sweet story, I am sure she was with you while you sang :)

Kelly said...

I wish I got signs from Adam like that. What a great story.

This weekend and following week is gonna be hard for us, too. I have mixed emotions about Mother's Day. I have my Natalie, but not ALL my kids are here. I'm sure you can relate. ((hugs))

ccc said...

I am so happy that she sent you some love.

Natasha said...

I'm so sorry this week is going so rough already.....I'm praying for your strength.

I love that Ellie sent you those little reminders that she's always with you.....what a sweet sweet baby girl!

Love you and if you need anything let me know!!

xoxo

New Year Mum said...

What beautiful signs from your angel... thinking of you both and hope that you find some peace from her gorgeous signs of love to you. Thinking of you and love to you always xoxo

Natalie Ross said...

Awww, How precious. I'm so glad you were given some comfort today. Thinking of you and your sweet girl today. <3
Love, Natalie

Mary said...

That was so sweet of your baby girl. She sure does love her mama. It is amazing how those precious angels can show us that they are still here with us. A sweet blessing for a mother's heart.

fuzzandfuzzlet said...

Your header happened to be loading as my DH walked up to me, he thinks Elle is the cutest thing ever!

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