Monday, June 13, 2011

All Dogs Go To Heaven

In case I haven't mentioned it before- Max is awesome!

We survived the Upper GI. Max very begrudgingly drank the "white smoothie." There were a lot of tears, a couple major freak-outs but he drank enough to get the job done. We mixed the barium with his smoothie but the barium is so white and thick that you couldn't even see the pink of the smoothie. And he's no dummy, so he wasn't happy. He cried hard but did take about 15 sips. Then he laid on the table for the test. Again, not happy by any standards, but he did it. And that's all we could ask for...

The staff there was very helpful and willing to go along with whatever Dave and I said. They didn't get in his face, let Dave and I do all the touching and instructions to Max. They didn't really talk directly to Max, which sounds rude, but is exactly what they needed to do. It takes some pressure off Max and I think that's why he did such a good job. The radiologist even let him lay on his tummy for the xrays because that's how Max wanted to be. They said all of his anatomy looks normal and they didn't see any reflux while they were watching. But it's sort of lucky to actually see reflux happening, so that's no surprise.
So tomorrow I will schedule his Upper Endoscopy and Small Bowl Biopsy. That should be a little easier on Max, but much harder on Dave and I since he has to have general anesthesia for that. But at least this part is over, and I am soooo thankful for the Child Life Specialist that helped us with all the prep work and was with us today, and that we had a tech and radiologist that actually knew how to work with a child, and an autistic one at that!

Max and I played outside for the rest of the morning, and he even took a nap this afternoon. While he was napping, I did Ellie's Light stuff and started on a grocery list. I was wondering what we should do when Max woke up when my mom called and decided for me...
This afternoon my mom called to let me know that it was time to put our family dog, Sergeant down. He's thirteen, and has been getting more uncomfortable for the last year. But in the last week, it just got to the point where needed peace. So my mom and I took him to the vet and stayed with him while they put him to sleep. As he went, I told him to find my Peanut and give her a big kiss for me.

How messed up is it that I'm jealous of a dog? Because I am. My dog gets to go be with my baby before me. Ellie is going to love having a puppy. I'm sure she is already pounding on him with her open hand and open mouth kissing him and saying "uhhhhmmmmmmmmmmm" like she used to do when she kissed us. Hopefully dogs don't shed in Heaven though, otherwise she will have a mouth full of hair....

I'm sure the vet thought I was heartless because I didn't really get that emotional about it. I'm obviously sad. He was such a good dog, well, after he out grew that puppy stage anyways. But he was in a lot of pain and didn't seem to enjoy life anymore. He's going to a better place. He's not sad. I guess this year has just changed my whole perspective on death. Of course, he's just a dog, and I'm not comparing him to losing my child, but if this had been a year ago, I definitely would have been more upset. Plus, I guess if you can make the decision to turn off your child's life support because you can't stand to see them suffer anymore, then making the decision to save your pet from further suffering shouldn't even compare... ugh... We will miss him though. It will be weird to not have him around at my parent's house and not buy him tennis balls at Christmas.

Ellie~ I hope you are having fun with your new puppy! He likes to be scratched on top of the head and on his belly. He will help keep you company until Daddy and I get there. We love you Little Girl!!

 Sargie in his younger days... He was a very adorable puppy, and he never really lost that cute puppy look.

sorry Mom... But look how cute and little he was!


Angie said...

He's such a cute dog!! We had to put our family dog down 6 months after Aiden died, and I thought the same thing! I was sad but I was excited for Aiden to get his first puppy in heaven. I know Ellie is playing with her brand new puppy. xo

LauraJane said...

Sounds like Max's experience was as good as you could hope for today. Hopefully the next steps won't be too hard on you.

About 3 years ago we had a cat we had rescued and fallen in love with. She ended up having cancerous tumors on her bowels, and we had to put her down after only about 8 months. When we were with her after the injections I remember holding her and telling her we would always love her. It was such an emotional time with my husband and I and I can't help but feel like I replicated these same moments with Jack a few years later... Obviously more emotional/devastating/real/horrible with Jack, but that hopeless feeling all the same. And yes, I realize it's strange to think that way. ;)

BTW, I totally get the jealousy thing. I'm kinda jealous to know there's a good chance my parents will see Jack before I do again, and while it gives me comfort to think that, it also makes me jealous. I should point out my parents are healthy, and I'm likely jinxing myself right now. F.

michelle said...

I am always upset that my cat who we had to put down was gone in five seconds peacefully. I hated that the same decision was made for my precious Jack and that it wasnt quick or peaceful for him.Not fair. Sorry for your loss, they are both very beautiful children.

Tiffany said...

so sorry about Sargie. but i do understand what you mean about being jealous of him. i always seem to find myself jealous of those who pass on. they get to be done with all of the suffering in this world. they get to be at peace with their loved ones. and i long to be with my son again. :(


Sorry so about your dog! ((Hugs)) I find myself jealous (not much anymore but a LOT in the beginning) of just seeing old people that were doing to die WAY sooner than I will :( How odd it is to think that but I don't want my time to pass and miss out on my other kids but I want life to speed up a little so that I can go be with my sweet baby soon, my how grief messes with your head!

Deanna said...

I am sorry to hear of this news, but you are right, Ellie gets such a sweet dog to play with!! I can imagine the fun they are having :)
Thoughts and prayers my friend!!

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