|A butterfly landed on my finger during a hike on our honeymoon in Two Harbors, MN.|
In the days before we moved, and the few following, Ellie sent butterflies to almost every intersection between our old and new houses. It's like she was telling us, it was ok to move, she would go with us wherever we go...
|Ellie's Butterfly from Triplet Butterfly|
At our new house we have a small memorial garden in the backyard for her. The other day, Max and I were bringing out her angel sculpture from the garage to put in the garden. I sat the angel down in the mulch, stepped back to look at it, and decided to move it over a little bit. I stepped back once again, and because I wasn't really sure I said, "I don't know, Elle, what do you think?" I moved it one more time, and as I stepped back to look at it, a butterfly came out of nowhere and almost flew right into my head. I took that as Ellie's way of saying she wanted it right there... So there it stayed!
It never fails, during the last few weeks, when I am out of the house and thinking about Peanut and am sad, she sends a butterfly. I can't help but think that it's Ellie. I'll be sad when fall and winter thunder back into Minnesota, and the butterflies make their way elsewhere... But I know Ellie will find another way to let me know she's here. I told Ellie over and over again, before we had to make the terrible decision to let the doctor turn off her machines, that I needed her to send me signs, and it's no surprise that she's been a good girl and listened to her Mama.
Some people will think it's crazy, but I don't care. Those who have lost someone they deeply love will likely understand. Sometimes there are just too many things that happen too often to just be a coincidence. I wasn't looking for Ellie to send me butterflies, they just started appearing, at exactly the right time. The peace and comfort they bring is undeniable. And for that, I am so grateful. Many days, it's what sustains me.
Ellie Belle, Thank you so much for sending Mama your butterflies. They make me smile each time I see one, and I know it's your way of saying, "I'm here Mama. Everything will be ok.I love you." Keep sending them along with all those beautiful pink and purple sunsets and sunrises, and the occasional Dr. Seuss "T is for Turtle" piece on my things or turned right side up when the rest are face down. I am so happy and thankful to call you mine. I'm a very lucky Mama! I love you forever and ever!
Ellie's Butterflies from Triplet Butterfly Wings
Remembering August 12th, 2010
Ellie loved to 1) be naked, and 2) banging on her xylophone and drums. Max loves to 1) read stories, and 2) put his feet on the book while he reads.
Remembering August 13th, 2010
|Elle having story time with Ma|
Dave left work early so that we could take the kids to do something fun- The Children's Museum...
|L.O.V.E. this picture of her!|
I love my Little Maxer!!