Today you should 15 months old. A little girl! Would you be walking around all over the place and climbing up on everything? What would you be saying? I bet you would still be the same sweet, goofy girl you were 6 months ago. It's hard for me to picture you as a 15 month old. I see the little girl ago across the street who was supposed to be your first friend and I wonder, would you be doing the same things she is? I spotted her wearing one of your outfits the other day. It caught me off guard and jabbed at heart. It should be you running around in the fresh spring air with a little ponytail wearing your pink Addias outfit. I see pictures of friends' daughters that are the same age as you. I try to picture you doing what they are... And I can't.
Even though you are 15 months old today, you are forever nine months. In my mind, I will always see you as my chubby little Peanut. I guess that's ok. Because I believe that when my time finally arrives and I get to be with you, that I will get to watch you grow up. I will get to be your Mommy and raise you like I was supposed to. I will be there to watch you learn to crawl and walk. I will get to hear you say, "I love you Mommy." I will spend my time here, waiting until I get to have my life with you. So you just stay nine months old... Play with your Angel friends and visit Mommy and Daddy and Max in our dreams. Keep sending us your love and stay near us.
I love you so much and every day, I seem to miss you more. The ache in my empty arms seems to be getting stronger. Nothing is right without you here. Nothing will ever be right, not until we are all together again.
I'll love you forever,
Flowers for our Baby Girl- pink and purple flowers from Ma and yellow daffodils from Mommy.
Remembering April 15th, 2010