WTF

That's it. No more doctors. No more driving. No more answering the phone. No more checking email. No more leaving the house. I've had enough.

Today, Maxer had an appointment with the Gastroenterologist because he is almost 2 1/2 and still has bad reflux. I don't like that he is still on Zantac. We have tried a lot of things and nothing seems to make it better. So after school I threw lunch down him and packed him up in the car to go to our appointment. Dave routed me through Minneapolis so I didn't have to drive by St. Paul Children's which seems to upset me more than Children's Minneapolis. Why? I don't know. Maybe because it's where I held her last before her body turned against us, because it's where we saw her awake last, or maybe because it's where they told us she probably wouldn't survive. ANYWAYS...
As I headed up the exit ramp I noticed an extremely strong smell of natural gas. Very strong. The smell made me sick to my stomach. At the top of the ramp, there were several firetrucks, police cars and many "gas emergency" trucks. Natural gas induced nausea and tons of flashing lights- awesome...

We got to the GI clinic and a man in the parking lot asked me for a ride- um, NO! There were no spots in the microscopic parking lot so I had to park way in the back and its cold! I wrestled a sleeping two year old out of his carseat and juggling him, the diaper bag and his three "friends" I made it into the reception area. The lady asked for my insurance card- in the car. We sat down in the kids area and I let Max play with what were definitely germ-infested toys. However, I didn't notice that the stacking ring puzzle was missing the green ring. Well Max did. And he was not happy- awesome.
The lady brought us back and things were going very well, until... the doctor said, "he looks good for celiac disease." WTF! Seriously?! Seriously? So, an hour later and we had labs drawn (super awesome to do by yourself with a two year old) and an upper endoscopy scheduled. So in early March we get to have a very fun morning at Children's Minneapolis. Max will have to be put under general anesthesia so Dave and I will have to wait. Awesome! We love waiting in Children's Minneapolis waiting rooms- one of our favorite past times! Ha! I'm thinking I should stuff my pockets with Valium before we leave for the hospital that day- or maybe I should just start doing that before I leave the house.

SO Max and I get back in the car and head for home. Most of the flashing lights were gone but there was definitely still a natural gas smell. As I drove home on 94W, I hit me. All of a sudden, I was in the car with Dave and we were following the ambulance. And we were wondering if Ellie was still alive in there or not. We were wondering if when we got to the other hospital, if they would tell us she died, while we followed behind in a different car. I snapped myself out it and expected to see an ambulance in front of me. Instead, as the car in the lane next to me moved over, it revealed what it had been hiding- a hearse. It hadn't even come to mind when I got on the freeway that this was the way we came when we followed the ambulance. Somehow it found its way in anyways. But then the hearse... really?

In conclusion,
I will no longer be leaving the house. Groceries can be delivered and you can even get alcohol delivered!

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February 2nd, 2010

Max's way of telling me to put down the baby and come play with him!