Friday, January 14, 2011

This day last year...

On this day last year, January 14th, 2010, we were preparing for the arrival our little girl. It was obvious that Ellie wasn't going to be coming out on her own and I was miserable- I could barely walk or breathe. So my kind and merciful OB scheduled an induction. Yes, it would have been fun to have my waterbreak and race to the hospital, but let's be honest- I'm not that kind of a person. I like to be prepared and organized. The laundry was done, house cleaned, cupboards & freezer stocked, babysitter for Max all ready to go. Everything packed and waiting. Max and I even went to get the car washed, much to the horror of the man drying the outside- he thought I was waaaaay to pregnant to be doing anything but sitting in a hospital bed.
I made sure I gave Max a ton of extra attention & love, knowing I would be spending two loooong nights away from him and that his time as an only child was ending. We gave him a bath and extra cuddles before bed. Dave's mom stayed with us that night, so we could make our early exit in the morning.

I remember laying in bed that night trying to sleep. So excited to meet Ellie, and so excited to get rid of the pain and tingling in my legs. But a little bit sad, once your baby is out, you have to share them. And they are so safe and snug in your belly. Once they're out, you lose control.

Well, if I only knew what I know now.

Most likely, at that time, I had already lost control. Ellie's spleen had probably already been injured. Our lives had already headed down a much different road than we anticipated. And we didn't even know.

What I wouldn't give to know what I know now, on this day last year.

Geez! I was huge!

Last day as an only child


BabyWid said...

I'm new to your blog but I wanted to say,"hi". ((hugs)) to you because I know the next few days won't be easy!

rebecca said...

Stopping by from Tiffany's blog. I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss, your daughter was so beautiful and obviously loved very much. Hope you feel surrounded by the love and support of many tomorrow as you remember her birthday ((hugs))

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