"If I Die Young"

IF I Die Young, The Band Perry



This song has been on the radio for quite some time and it has been sent to me several times since Ellie died. I easily recognized the chrous but haven't really paid much attention to the lyrics. After dropping Max off at school, I was sitting in the car trying to stay warm because the furnace wasn't working, and this song came on. It was the first time I actually listened to the lyrics. And one part really struck me. It's exactly how I think of our Peanut...

"Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother. She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors. Oh and life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no ain't even gray but she buries her baby."

It's not so much rainbows, but those pink and purple sunsets. I believe those are for us, from our Ellie. I feel like it's her telling us she's ok and that she's not as far away as she feels.

If I Die Young

Songwriters: Perry, Kimberly

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors
Oh, and life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even gray, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life
Well, I've had just enough time

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life
Well, I've had just enough time

And I'll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger
I've never known the loving of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand

There's a boy here in town, says he'll love me forever
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life
Well, I've had just enough time

So put on your best, boys, and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singing
Funny, when you're dead how people start listening

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The ballad of a dove
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh

The sharp knife of a short life
Well, I've had just enough time
So put on your best, boys
And I'll wear my pearls

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remembering March 2nd, 2010

I remember that I picked out this dress of Ellie shortly after we found out we were having a girl. Babies R Us had a lot of cute girl clothes and I found several dresses I liked. Even though Ellie didn't spend much time wearing size newborn, this dress was a big size 3 months, so it was a little while before she could wear it. I took these pictures in the afternoon when Max was taking a nap. It was quiet in the house, Ellie had a full tummy and was happy just kicking her feet on the floor- just as long as I didn't put her on her tummy. The sun was coming in the windows so the living room was nice and warm. I was able to take off her leggings and let the chunky thighs and sweaty toes air out. Happy baby, happy Mommy.

 

 If I look at all the pictures we have of her, I can see that it's at about this point in her little life, where she started to look more like a tiny person than a baby blob. All the swelling around her face was gone and you can tell her eyes were focused. I love the little smirk on her face in the picture above. It's a glimpse of the little personality that's was about to blossom. Oh how I miss that smirk.