Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Seriously?!

This will be the only time I defend what I say on this blog. This is my blog. If you don't like what I have to say, don't read it. If you feel the need to leave a totally out-of-line and completely incorrect comment, don't. Especially don't do it if you don't have the balls to leave your name.

Just in case there is any confusion... I love my kids. BOTH of my kids. I bust my butt every day to make sure Max gets exactly what he needs. Max is loved and he knows it. He gets everything he needs and more. He will never look back on anything I have said or done and think we have anything but love for him. Max is being given every opportunity to succeed. We spend our days going to appointments, parks and running errands. We play and sing the same mind-numbing songs over and over again. Max lacks for nothing.

We are experiencing two of the most stressful things parents can ever experience- at the same time. We just lost our daughter and are learning how to take care of a child with autism. I get to have bad days. And I get to say whatever I want on this blog. It makes me feel better to get it out. I get to hate having a dead child and I get to hate autism. This does NOT mean I hate my child. Quite the opposite- if I didn't love my child so much, I wouldn't hate autism so much. I hate what it's taken away from him and us. I hate that he will have to work harder to have a normal life. No parent wants life to be any harder for their child than it has to be.
I seriously can't even believe that I have to defend my parenting of Max. But I guess this is what happens when you put it out there....
This is MY place. My place to say what I want. My place to find other parents who are going through similar things. I have met wonderful, AMAZING people through this blog. It definitely bothers that someone would be so stupid to leave such an insenstive comment (which I promptly deleted) but one idiot isn't going to ruin this for me.

To "Annonymous"-
I am a grown up. I am apparently more grown up than you. I don't need to be told how therapy and this and that and blah, blah, blah... will give my child a good future. As a supposed parent of a child with autism, you should know that each kid with autism is different. They cannot be compared. You SHOULD also know that you cannot predict the future of an autistic child, especially one who is only two. My child DOES have a good future, we will make sure of that. My child does however, have bad days/ weeks. I do get exhausted.
I feel bad for your child. Apparently they have a parent who cannot keep their mouth shut and has little to no empathy for others. Clearly, it is your child that may look back and see how they have been cheated. Next time you feel the need to spout off about something in which you have no idea, don't. Stop and think how you would feel. However, I suspect you don't have the ability to actually do this. So don't come back. Focus on your child and your family, and work on pulling your head out of your ass.

:)

17 comments:

Tabatha said...

So proud of you my friend!! You are so right.. this is OUR space.. we just allow others the opportunity to read into our deepest darkest thoughts.. and sometimes they are thoughts that almost everyone feels or thinks at one time or another.. they just don't have the gall to say it out loud! Good for you!!! ((hugs))

Our Journey said...

I didn't see what anonymous wrote, but I can not believe that he/she would have the audacity to leave a nasty comment. Evidently they have never dealt with grief. Tiffany you are wonderful mom. You do not need to defend your thoughts or actions to anyone!!! Keep on blogging and speaking the truth. You are honoring your daughter and your son. I hate anonymous comments! Especially the ones made by a clearly ignorant person!
Love ya, Tiffany!

ccc said...

I don't know what they said either, but I can only imagine. There are so many "experts" out there who are so quick to give their "expert opinion"!! So sorry you had to deal with it--I've been there before (and not just about my parenting techniques with my special needs child but also my other children)
Your come back comment was perfect!

Tammy said...

You go, girl!
They should be ashamed of saying that to you in your "house."
BTW, Rachel LOVES to see your pictures of Ellie and Max. Thanks for sharing them with us.

New Year Mum said...

Thank you for joining my blog. I'm so sorry to hear about you losing Ellie... her story brought a tear to my eye. You sound like an amazing mum and I can feel through your words how much you love all your children - here or somewhere above. So awful that someone has said something hurtful anonymously ! All my heart and thoughts are with you. Thank you for sharing xoxo

Boo's Mom said...

Good for you! I cant believe that someone would post something like that on your blog... keep writing - lots of people enjoy the reality of it!

Rochel said...

Thats my girl! Anonymous has no idea who she was spouting off to! I have never known a more dedicated and loving mother. Max will know when he is old enough to understand, how hard his parents worked to give him every oppurtunity to be the best he can be. And he will be awesome! Just look at his mama.(and daddy). I am so proud of you and the kind of mama you are! Love you. Mom

Beth said...

Truly ridiculous. Sorry you had to deal with this. Unfortunately, many people seem to think they can say anything to anyone with the "anonymous" cover to hide behind. Coward. I think you are doing an amazing job...even though you don't need a stranger's "assessment" of how you are doing period, good or bad. This is clearly not a place for judgement of any kind. Its a place for support, and and an honor for those of us who are blessed to hear about lovely Ellie and charming Max. And Ellie's page looks GORGEOUS. So just wanted to add my own "boo hiss" to "anonymous."

Chelle406 said...

You and your family are in my prayers daily. I can't even begin to imagine what you have gone through over the last few months. Good for you for being able to express your feelings on here, that is what it is for and shame on any one who feels the need to judge you for what you say. I have no doubt that you are giving Max everything he needs and more. Keep up your dedication for both of your lovely children. Chelle

Deanna said...

I agree, "Seriously?!" How ridiculous that someone would even think you aren't an amazing parent to both of your children!?

I have found nothing but support from you and have truly been grateful to get to know you(even though it's only online), you are wonderful! Anyone that thinks otherwise is not worth it!

Ellie's site is so beautiful!! Much love to you, Tiffany! Keep sharing your thoughts and feelings, the non-judgmental people are here to listen and support you!

Jen said...

people are so ignorant. I hate that they feel the need to judge or give unsolicited advice to others when they have NO CLUE. So glad the good people out number the bad..<3

Debbie said...

I do not know you I just follow your blog, and I cannot get over the fact that this person thinks he/she has any right to judge you!!! WOW I think you have amazing strength, and that this blog is an amazing way for you to vent how you feel that day with out have it all build up..Don't let people like this get to you!!! If anything feel sorry for them, that their lives are so sad they find the need to pick on yours!

Connie said...

Amen Tiff! When I read that yesterday my first thought was, "for pete's sake it's HER blog - she should be able to be honest!". Like you said, don't read it if you don't like it, and also I would love to see that person deal with both the issues you are and then see what they have to say. Max is a lucky kid!! Connie

Tiffany said...

Thanks for all the support everyone. I am so thankful for all of you!

"Boo Hiss" is definitely right!

LO said...

Amen sister! What an ass - you my friend are amazing! And your a fantastic mom! It was nice of you not to give out the name, I would have encouraged everyone to send them a message...
LO

Desiree said...

How could someone totally lack empathy like that? I think about your family every day, and sometimes just feel sick when I think about what you are going through. You have been so strong, even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes.

Natasha said...

I didn't see the anonymous comment either but I can just imagine how ridiculous it was. Booooooo to them. And yay to you for your Seriously post. How freaking rude. You keep being a strong loving mama and continue to use this blog as your space. Sending hugs!!!

By the way I started a Happy List Saturdays blog hop so join in with me tomorrow if you can!

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