Friday, November 19, 2010

Just Because...

Just because I smile, doesn't mean I don't miss you.
Just because I laugh, doesn't mean it's not killing me.
Just because I shower and put on something besides pajamas, doesn't mean I wouldn't give anything to hold you.
Just because I get out of bed in the morning, doesn't mean I can bear another day without you here.
Just because I chase Max through the tunnels and down the slides at the indoor park, doesn't mean I'm not thinking about you the entire time. It doesn't mean that I don't remember you were with us last time, the night before Max's birthday- less than two months ago. It doesn't mean I don't remember you sat in the stroller, ate pears, and smiled and laughed at me when I was shouting at you from the top level.
Just because I do a couple loads of laundry, doesn't mean I'm not replaying those last horrible hours we had with you.
Just because I'm not crying, doesn't mean I'm not biting my lip to hold the tears in.
Just because I open the curtains to let the light in, doesn't mean I don't despise it for shining.
Just because I say I'm ok, doesn't mean I am.
Just because the world keeps going on around us, doesn't mean we want it to.
Just because we had to let you go, doesn't mean we wanted to.

I'll like you forever.
I'll love you for always.
As long as I'm living
my baby you'll be.


Anonymous said...

There is NOTHING I can say but what FANTASTIC parents you and Dave are!! There is nothing you can do to change what happened...what you can do is NEVER forget that which is obvious, the unconditional LOVE you all HAVE for Ellie!!! Ellie was gorgeous and wonderful, what else would or could be expected from parents like the both of you! Just always remember the love and happiness she expressed WITH you
<3 !E!L!L!I!E! <3

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