Monday, November 1, 2010

Sweet Dreams

My Little Peanut,
Mama misses you. Soon Dada and I will go upstairs to give Maxer a goodnight kiss. Then we will go into your room and stand over your empty crib. We have been smelling your giraffe and crib sheet every night. I am scared that soon we won't be able to smell you. But for now your sweet smell gives us so much comfort. And just for a split second your lingering smell is enough to fill up the emptiness inside us. Please come see me in my dreams soon. We see all the signs you have been sending us. And we cherish every one. Goodnight sweet girl. I love you more than words can even begin to describe.
"Oh my love will fly to you each night on angel's wings. Godspeed. Sweet dreams."
Love, Mama

I Will Carry You by Selah

There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes
Who could love you like this?People say that I am brave but I'm not
Truth is I'm barely hanging on
But there's a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this

So I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
And I will praise the One Who's chosen me
To carry you

Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He says

I've shown her photographs of time beginning
Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?

I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All your life
And I will praise the One Who's chosen Me
To carry you


Anonymous said...

A co-worker passed your blog onto us. I read it at the end of my day and thought and prayed for your family the entire drive home. Within the first five minutes of praying in the car, this song came on the radio, "Held" by Natalie Grant. It was a song that my best friend gave to us when we were struggling to conceive and throughout our miscarriages. I hope it can comfort you and bring you HIS peace, and help let out the tears when they need to come. Know you are being prayed for....

Kristin said...

We are praying for you and your family. I am just devastated for your loss. I am so sorry and want you to know that God will hold you and help you through this time. Praying for you in NJ...

pink steam said...


My heart breaks for you every day. I'm a new mom and can't even begin to imagine the pain you are feeling. Your story is haunting and has reminded me to take nothing for granted. I think about you often and wish you and your family the best during this trying time.

gillian 'mclaughlin' edgeton

Ran Mitchell said...

This is only an ending of Life as, we here and now, know it to be. But the spirit and the soul are immortal. May you find peace in what is everlasting. I am so very sorry for your loss, and for all the mama's and papa's who have suffered such a loss. Psalm 34 verse 19, The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; and those who are crushed in spirit he saves

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