A lullaby, a butterfly and a sunset

Before we took our sweet girl off life support, I asked her to send us signs so we knew she was ok and that she was still with us... She listened to her Mama and her messages to us have been undeniably present.

Ellie died at about 3am on October 25. That night (the 25th) Dave and I were getting ready for bed upstairs in our room. It was about midnight. My mom was downstairs getting ready for bed, everyone else had gone home for the evening and Max had been in bed for hours... Let me first say that each time we put Max in his crib to sleep we start the CD player on his dresser. It plays the eleven lullabys all the way through and then stops. We have been doing this since he was about three months old... So Dave and I were getting dressed and all of a sudden we heard the music in his room start playing, playing very loudly. I went down to Max's room, opened his door and saw he was sound asleep in his crib. His alarm clock was flashing midnight. I turned down his music and went into Ellie's room to check her clock. Her clock was not flashing, neither were the two in our bedroom. Max's music has never once turned on by itself, and never turns on that loudly. It had to be our girl. I think she was checking on her big brother....

After Ellie's burial, I didn't want to come back into the house. I felt like it was taking a big step in accepting she was gone forever and in moving on with our lives. I was literally scared to walk through the door. I bent down to pick up the garage door opener left on the step by the officer that stayed at our house during the services. As I bent down, I noticed a small piece of cardboard. I picked it up and realized it was a piece of her poster boards that had fallen off. It was a small butterfly. I feel like Ellie left it there for me. It was her little way of telling me it was ok to come in the house...

Last weekend, I was complaining to Dave that Ellie hadn't sent me a sign in awhile and everyone else was getting them. I was having a hard afternoon & evening- really missing my girl. About 5 minutes later Dave told me to look out the window. The sky had turned all pink, purple and blue. It only lasted a couple minutes and then it was gone... But a few minutes was all I needed. I knew those colors were meant for me.

Ellie showing Mama that even though she's not here, she is still with us

There are more stories like that. A lot more. Its sounds weird but we see her little personality coming through in these signs. Some are sweet, some are mischievous. I never used to believe in this kind of stuff but now, they are so obvious, I have no choice but to believe them.


Our little goofball

Thank you little Peanut. Keep those signs coming. Mama and Dada need them. Can't believe it has already been four weeks...